FBI Help Wanted

Help wanted:

Must be

Female

Born in Lebanon

Muslim

Former Illegal Alien

Must have been fraudulently married in order to gain US citizenship

Must have submitted fraudulent documentation in order to gain citizenship

Must have filed for divorce from fraudulent husband shortly after obtaining citizenship

Must be related to members of Hezbollah

Being a former waitress and hostess of a chain of Middle Eastern restaurants a plus

A candidate meeting all these requirements will be hired as a special agent with the FBI, given security clearance, and enough free time and liberty to access sensitive files on cases involving investigation of possible terrorist activity.

Quote Stephen Murphy, U.S. attorney:

"This case highlights the importance of conducting stringent and thorough background investigations," Stephen J. Murphy, U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Michigan, said in a statement. "It's hard to imagine a greater threat than the situation where a foreign national uses fraud to attain citizenship and then, based on that fraud, insinuates herself into a sensitive position in the U.S. government."

I don’t have much to add to that, except…


Duh.

Full article here.